Irish wisdom and CURSES!!!

Originally posted: Tuesday, December 8, 2009 at 10:35pm

Tonight I remembered some little Irish sayings my grandmother used to throw around, and when I went to look up the exact wording, I found other Irish sayings, blessings, and, yes, cursings. You gotta hand it to the Irish, though, because even some of the "curses" I found were pretty funny.

Anyhow, I took a few minutes and found some sayings that I consider to be real gems.

The italics are my additions... Read at your leisure.

Sayings
- Both your friend and your enemy think you will never die.

- The wearer best knows where the shoe pinches.
So important for decision-makers to remember this when they create mandates that affect people beyond their own circle.

- It is not a secret if it is known by three people.
I'm not sure that many people know this rule...

- You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.

- Need teaches a plan.

- A trade not properly learned is an enemy.

- A hen is heavy when carried far.
Couldn't agree more. When I let a little problem go unresolved for a long time, it becomes the heaviest weight of all.

- To live above with the Saints we love,
Ah, that is the purest glory.
To live below with the Saints we know,
Ah, that is another story!


CURSES!!!
May those who love us love us.
And those that don't love us,
May God turn their hearts.
And if He doesn't turn their hearts,
May he turn their ankles,
So we'll know them by their limping.

May the curse of Mary Malone and her nine blind illegitimate children chase you so far over the hills of Damnation that the Lord himself can't find you with a telescope.
I'm half hoping that someone makes me mad enough that I can feel justified saying this to them.

Blessings
May the roof above us never fall in.
And may the friends gathered below it never fall out.

May you live as long as you want,
And never want as long as you live.

Here's a toast to your enemies' enemies!

If God sends you down a stony path,
may he give you strong shoes.

May the good Lord take a liking to you...
But not too soon!

May you be half an hour in Heaven
Before the Devil knows you’re dead.

Jokes
Mick and Paddy were walking home after a night on the beer when a severed head rolled along the ground. Mick picked it up to his face and said to Paddy "Jez, that look like Sean" to which Paddy replied "No, Sean was taller than that."

Joey-Jim was tooling along the road one fine day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over. "What's wrong, Seamus?" Joey-Jim asked. "Well didn't ya know, Joey-Jim, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back?" said Seamus. "Ah, praise the Almighty!" he replied with relief. "I thought I'd gone deaf!"