Showing posts with label college. Show all posts
Showing posts with label college. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

If I write 25 things will you people stop tagging me?

Originally posted: Friday, February 13, 2009 at 4:59am
Context: For a while college facebookers were all "tagging" each other in these chain messages. In an act of pure procrastination and insomnia, I played along.

Alright, I've been tagged in these things a few times now, so I figured I'd take the time all early in the morning to go ahead and bare my soul to you all in a bullet point fashion. Because soul-bearing should be well organized if done at all.

1. When I was little I collected really weird things, and really half-heartledly:
  • erasers (mostly Lisa Frank garbage, for those of you who remember that stuff)
  • rocks
  • my teeth (I waited for them to fall out naturally)
  • stickers
  • pencils
  • letters and cards that people sent me
  • baseball cards  (I have a ton of worthless cards. I was a big Daryl Strawberry fan. Ouch.)
  • coins (when I say "half-heartedly" it means that there are Chuck-e-cheese tokens in there)
  • hairballs (this collection didn't last long. My mom found out I was stealing the hair from everyone's brushes and got really freaked out. Made me stop.)
  • diaries/journals (I pity the poor person who ever tries to write my biography. I've always kept at least two journals going simultaneously.)

2. I added a new collection about 2 years ago: bouncy balls. I think I wrote about it in another note.

3. I can't do math. Can't. Do. Math. I'm not being humble, people. It's bad. Yesterday I had to ask someone what 4+5 was. I would've gotten it eventually...

5. I can't count, either.

6. Almost all of my earliest memories of my brother Connor involve him getting me to ride on a bike/scooter/wagon/sled/skateboard with him down some big hill and then crashing. That and him laughing whenever my sister Reagan or I would get mad at him.

7. When I was in elementary school Reagan would babysit us when we got home, and Connor would get me to mutiny with him against her and lock her in her room so we could watch tv instead of do homework.

8. I've never really belonged to a group of friends that I hang out with every day. I'm more of a drifter who has friends in different groups of people and spends time with them randomly.
* I will make a slight correction here, as I definitely had best friends in Cairo who I saw ALL the time. Ya'll know who you are.

9. Whenever people find out that my parents met in the circus (no, not *at* the circus) they almost always feel compelled to be witty and say something like, "Well that explains some things."

10. I'm pretty indecisive on most things. When people ask me about my favorites I usually make something up for that moment. Sorry if that makes you all question whether you really know me.

11. I am prone to becoming a part of strange stories. A few weeks into my semester in Egypt, I accidentally dyed most of my clothing *pink* in a terrible, terrible decision-making process.

12. I recently followed up on room-for-rent ad at a house only to find 6 dogs named Doodle, Doo-dah, Two-toe, Maximoose, Small thing, and Smaller thing ... and 5 cats. One cat "helps" a guy who lives there (he goes by the name Meow--the man does) composing music by "telling him when it's right on."

13. Last semester I rented an apartment in Egypt from the ex Egyptian Ambassador to China. Craziest time there had to be when we had 8 girls living in an apt meant for three: Me and Daphne from USC; Lindsey from Michigan; Karla from El Salvador, but living in Israel; Dina a Russian-Israeli; Armen, Samah, and Juliet from Jordan. IHOM - International House of Mormons (minus Daphne, but she's kinda Mormon by association).

12. In Cairo, I got addicted to soda. Me + soda is as close to drunk as you'll ever see me. Under the influence of soda I composed a number of impromptu songs about people and other stuff.

13. I'm not allowed to make fun of Uggs or people who wear them after I had to wear a pair of pink Uggs for about a month straight in my senior year of high school. Bone spurs in my achilles tendons necessitated loose boots.

14. I had a pet lobster and crawdad and some fish until the crawdad, Gilligan, ate the feelers and all but one leg off the lobster, Fivel. I fed Fivel with chopsticks for a few days and watched in horror as he could only push himself in circles. And then he died. Gilligan laster slightly longer until I trusted him to Elisa while I was in Cairo. He made a few attempts at escape and then died of a broken heart. Even ruthless lobster-mauling machines have teeny-tiny, gross little hearts, people.

15. When I was in Egypt, men would always ask if I was German and I'd say yes so they couldn't talk to me anymore. Until I realized that there are quite a few Egyptians who can speak German...so I switched my story and told people that I was from Argentina so I'd be safe if anyone tried to call my bluff.

16. I can sing with my mouth closed. No, not humming, it's singing.

17. I procrastinate. Last semester I had a book review due, woke up at (Lindsey, correct me here) 6am, read the whole book and took notes, wrote a 12 page review, and got it in to class by 4pm. Favorite quote during that episode as I crouched over my laptop in our dining room: "Lindsey, if I pull this one off I won't learn my lesson, but I sure will be happy."

18. I stop at stop signs.

19. My elementary school had a milk program where they'd leave a crate of milk sitting outside each classroom, and you picked one up on your way out to recess. Well, some days they'd leave them out too long, or re-use the unopened milks the next day, and there'd be bad milk with chunks in it. So now I've got this strange compulsion to smell all milk before drinking it, and I'm always asking for a second opinion on it.

20. I can eat a lot more than people assume.

21. I'm surprised that I've been able to focus long enough to write this many things. Ummm... I love the internet or interweb or blogosphere, or blogonet, or whatever else it goes by.

22. Oh! I like nerdy games. My friend Stephanie Shin and I used to give each other hard words to spell in an attempt to stump one another. And Juli Kiyan and I were once reduced to playing 'Guess the Historical Figure' while waiting for Mr. Atchley to open the Hobachi room for us.

23. I love quirky websites that are useful and fun to peruse:
www.freerice.com
www.flashcardexchange.com
http://www.bored.com/getannoyed/general.htm -- A list of ways to annoy people. Some good ones.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXpYk7WGN5Y -- Most awkward Letterman interview EVER
http://www.virtual-bubblewrap.com/popnow.shtml
http://bored.com/dumb/ -- really dumb
http://letmegooglethatforyou.com/?q=cool%2C+huh%3F+-+Caitlin
http://images.google.com/imagelabeler/

24. I really like learning new languages. So far I can converse in English and Spanish, get by in Egyptian Arabic, greet people in Mandarin, and say animals, colors, greetings, and days of the week in Hungarian. I'm always up for learning more if you want to teach me!

25. If you really want to get to know anything else about me, just ask. I'm too tired to think up any more things. (yeah, I know I cheated with that whole "I can't count" trick up in #5, but whatever.)

Say Wha--? (great moments this week)

Originally posted: Saturday, February 9, 2008 at 9:03am
Context: I was in college and, hence, more likely to be in strange places at odd hours with eccentric people.

Firstly, I have to say that I honestly believe that people wait to do/say weird things until they're around me. Seriously. I believe that people are pretty normal until they get within a certain distance, and then they turn weird, because I swear I hear and see the strangest things all the time. It's like I attract it. Or maybe I encourage it.

With that, I heard some good ones in the past few days. So enjoy.

1:30 this morningReally drunk girl: *walking by outside, shouting* I'm a freaking DIVA!
Guy walking with her: Really? Because you just threw up back there.

---------

Girl in my office: I hear that CostCo has some pretty good opta-- ops--- obstetricians...
Me: Do you mean "optometrists?"
Girl: No, obsta...*eyes get wide* ...yeah, optometrists.

---------

12:15 A.M. at a taco stand in South Los Angeles with friends
Homeless man: Hey guys, I don't wanna tell you my whole life story or anything, but lemme tell you what: I'm going to try to surprise you, and if you're not surprised you don't have to give me anything.
Carlos: *whispering to us* Please don't let him pull his pants down.
Homeless man: Here I go...
*all of us start edging backwards*
Homeless man: (singing) Je-e-e-e-e-e-e-sus! Y-o-o-o-u are-- *waves had around* m-i-i-i-i-ne!
Another guy nearby: Hey! He sang that last night --and he was better then! Tonight's version smells like beer...
---------
Sitting for lunch in one of the university dining halls
Friend who I shall call "Sean": What's wrong with that guy's HAIR?
Me: I don't know.
Sean: But LOOK at it! Why is it like that?
Me: I don't know --I'm not a hair specialist.
Sean: But it's all... it's gone in some parts but really long on the other side. Do you think it's some religious hair cut?
Me: Seriously? Let it go.
Sean: ... there's something wrong. I'm going to find out.

I Miss Pluto

Originally posted: Thursday, September 14, 2006 at 3:21am
Context: "Science" had just announced that Pluto would no longer be considered a planet in the Solar System.

 
I never really thought about Pluto - aka the ninth and smallest planet in our solar system - aka the Pickles in the My-Very-Educated-Mother-Just-Served-Us-Nine-Pickles mnemonic for memorizing the planets - aka the planet we really cared least about.

But NOW I care. Science has decided that Pluto isn't really a planet after all...
Sorry, Pluto.

So now what is my very educated mother going to serve us? Ninjas? NAKED? How inappropriate of her.

I guess this makes it easier on those kids who make that same styrofoam ball solar system deal, complete with the sun and everything, but still. This sucks. That ninth little ball that every little kid paints blue for some reason isn't allowed to be there anymore.

I miss Pluto. We should get rid of Neptune instead. Does anyone know anything cool about Neptune? Didn't think so.
I know lots about Pluto:
- it's tiny
- it's cold
- it's really far away
- it was the best planet (fact, not opinion)

Neptune on the other hand... Its name sounds like "tuna," which smells funny.

Nuff said.

Tiny Animals on Fingers

Originally published: Tuesday, May 29, 2007 at 11:23am
Context: I was probably in the midst of serious procrastination.

In the process of surfing the Internet for countless hours, I made a cool but useless discovery. There is an entire photo album on Flickr dedicated to unbelievably small animals sitting on people's fingers.

The awesome factor increases as the size of the monkey/creature decreases. Trust me, it's science.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/specklet/sets/72157594204828139/


Normally, I'd be scared of (what looks like?) a poison dart frog, but this is just cool.


This is what finger monkeys look like when they're plotting to take over the world. Or the rest of that hand.

I had no idea monkeys could be this small.
Itty bitty sea turtle? This was probably illegal. But if you're gonna do something illegal, at least let it be for an awesome photo.
Sleepy finger monkeys. I think the one on the left has crumbs on his face from his most recent snack of tiny crackers.
 
 
Two freakishly small chameleons staring each other down.
Sugar glider on somebody's fingas.
An angry horny toad. This toad gots 'tude.

 

 
Happiest dragonfly ever.
You're welcome.
 
 

Bouncy Balls - BALLIN'!

Originally published: Saturday, May 5, 2007 at 8:31pm

I don't usually gamble.

I don't get a thrill from it and I like keeping my money too much. But my new habit has become an addiction, perhaps worse than gambling.

I'm addicted to a little quarter machine game in Olympian Burger on Vermont Avenue near USC. For one quarter you can win up to 3 bouncy balls! THREE! I did it as a joke at first, since the fact that I have to hunch over to play it tells me that it's made for 5 year olds.

But now I have almost 150 bouncy balls in my room.

And you can only do so much with them. I dropped them all down the stairwell in my building (which was awesome), and I got into a bouncy ball fight with a few people (which was awesome until we-- until I --realized that some people are babies and will get all dramatic if you throw one stupid ball wrong and it hits them in the face).

It's gotten bad though, because now when I get change back, all I think about is how many bouncy balls it'll get me...

PS in case you ever wondered what it would look like, here's what 250,000 bouncy balls look like when they're launched down a San Francisco street.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oP5J4W5GQ3w

My Christmas shopping is out of control

Originally published:  Monday, December 18, 2006 at 10:54pm
Context: I was a freshman in college with a part-time job.

My shopping practices this year have spiraled out of control. My family is growing at an alarming rate, and I can't seem to keep up in the Presents Department.

Basically, I wish I could give everyone a Christmas present that was super cool, and not made out of popsicle sticks and tin foil, but to be honest, I'm going broke really fast.

I have just realized how many people I've been shopping for: 11 people. 11 PEOPLE just in my family!!! This happened over the course of the year after gaining a step-family on my dad's side, and two other people in my family getting engaged. I was tempted to start doing the and-this-present-is-for-EVERYONE-to-share thing, but I had already bought a bunch of individual presents that I couldn't necessarily return, so I'm stuck buying and buying and buying.

I'm a poor college student! I mean, I would be happy to get lots of bottled water, chewing gum, and microwaveable food for Christmas. I really don't need more stuff -- dorms are tiny, in case you haven't noticed. Somehow, though, I doubt that my step-sister would be terribly impressed with three packs of Wrigley's and a Cup of Noodles on Christmas Eve.

And after spending so much on my family, it hasn't left much funds for friends' presents. I am stuck.