Throwing stars are not appropriate for court

Or so I hear.

I got a jury summons just before we moved across the country this summer, so I couldn't do my civic duty that time BUT I still had to go through the whole process of registering. Of course I immediately had to explain that I couldn't actually serve, but that's beside the point.

Key here is that I had to get oriented to the process regardless. In Los Angeles they are pretty thorough in describing some of the things you may not bring with you to the jury box. Now that we're settled in the new house, I'm posting what I thought was pretty good stuff. Without further ado, my favorites:
- Bicycle parts
- Rollerblades
- Rope that is longer than 2 inches
- Safety pins that are longer than 2 inches
- Flashlights that are longer than 3 inches
- Tools that are longer than 3 inches
- Grafitti tools
- Belt buckles resembling actual firearms
- Swords / cane swords
- Tape measures
-  Stun guns

Say Wha--? (great moments this week)

Originally posted: Saturday, February 9, 2008 at 9:03am
Context: I was in college and, hence, more likely to be in strange places at odd hours with eccentric people.

Firstly, I have to say that I honestly believe that people wait to do/say weird things until they're around me. Seriously. I believe that people are pretty normal until they get within a certain distance, and then they turn weird, because I swear I hear and see the strangest things all the time. It's like I attract it. Or maybe I encourage it.

With that, I heard some good ones in the past few days. So enjoy.

1:30 this morningReally drunk girl: *walking by outside, shouting* I'm a freaking DIVA!
Guy walking with her: Really? Because you just threw up back there.

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Girl in my office: I hear that CostCo has some pretty good opta-- ops--- obstetricians...
Me: Do you mean "optometrists?"
Girl: No, obsta...*eyes get wide* ...yeah, optometrists.

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12:15 A.M. at a taco stand in South Los Angeles with friends
Homeless man: Hey guys, I don't wanna tell you my whole life story or anything, but lemme tell you what: I'm going to try to surprise you, and if you're not surprised you don't have to give me anything.
Carlos: *whispering to us* Please don't let him pull his pants down.
Homeless man: Here I go...
*all of us start edging backwards*
Homeless man: (singing) Je-e-e-e-e-e-e-sus! Y-o-o-o-u are-- *waves had around* m-i-i-i-i-ne!
Another guy nearby: Hey! He sang that last night --and he was better then! Tonight's version smells like beer...
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Sitting for lunch in one of the university dining halls
Friend who I shall call "Sean": What's wrong with that guy's HAIR?
Me: I don't know.
Sean: But LOOK at it! Why is it like that?
Me: I don't know --I'm not a hair specialist.
Sean: But it's all... it's gone in some parts but really long on the other side. Do you think it's some religious hair cut?
Me: Seriously? Let it go.
Sean: ... there's something wrong. I'm going to find out.